Biebighauser Bliss

Would today have been your birthday?
Or would you have been late like your sisters?
I wonder . . . a cotton-head blondie or a mocha like me.

Most days I choose not to wonder, to open the wound.
Most days I choose joy.
Most days I choose the moment I will hold you close while He watches our reunion.
Most days I choose to hear the happy chaos around me and just nod toward your whisper.
Most days I choose to say two. One almost. Not five.

Not today.
Today is for you.
Sweet, tiny you.
Today I will stop and remember the remember I never had:

First kisses and photos and meetings and announcements
Feeling your warm baby breath on my chest
Snuggling you close, skin to skin
Watching your Daddy study you quietly
Singing to you of angels (you have already met)

Some days are easier to find the peace under the shadow of His wing.
Some days are not.

Today is one of those days, precious someday baby of mine.
Today is for you, for the almost.
Today is for me, your Mommy.
Today, your birth day.

Or would you have been late like your sisters?


In memory of our second Someday Baby, in honor of your due date, 3-15-11

Psalm 63:5-8